Healthy boundaries in dating
This was significant because my ex hated RPGs – she thought they were the stupidest things ever and couldn’t imagine anyone she dated wanting to play them.
She also didn’t care for them because it meant I was spending time with my friends and not with her (warning sign #2) – but this time she relented and .
After all, if you were better, cooler, or more desirable, you’d be able to stand up for yourself.
When you don’t feel as though you have anything to offer and you’re desperate for someone to complete you, you will tend to shift your boundaries and sacrifice your values for someone else in the hopes that this will prompt them to like you. They rely on obligation and allow themselves to be used – as well as live in fear of conflict or disagreement – because they don’t feel that they can rely on their own value.
Both partners should keep giving and looking for consent.
Just because you’ve given consent to an act before, doesn’t mean it becomes a “given” every time.
If something doesn’t feel right, you should have the freedom to voice your concerns to your partner.
Many people will cheerfully take advantage of those with weak boundaries; they look for people who are willing to put the well-being of others above and beyond their own in an effort to please others and make them like them.
I had been there for less than an hour before she showed up to quite literally drag me away (warning sign #3).
I forget what the excuse was, but it was some “togetherness” emergency – I had to go shopping with her for some trivial thing or other. In fact, that phrase – “I let her” – defined the majority of our relationship.
The absence of a “no” does not equal a “yes.” What you or a partner chooses to wear doesn’t mean that you or they are inviting unwanted sexual attention or “pre-consenting.” The same can be said for flirting, talking, showing interest or any other actions.
It’s not consent if you’re being manipulated, pressured, or threatened to say yes.